Visiting old places(Online)

Every once in a while something reminds me of the old internet. And by old internet I mean slower and somewhat more compassionate internet. Before it would take a long time for things to load so you’d have to find a place with flash or something like that so it would load quickly.

I used to play a game called MapleStory, it still exists but is completely different now. This feeling is almost like going back to where you grew up and seeing that it looks the same but doesn’t feel the same. That’s what happens every time I try to go back there.

I used to frequent Tumblr a lot. It was my escape place when I tunneled into depression. When I felt the worst about myself and didn’t know what to do I spent countless amount of hours scrolling down looking for content.

It was the first time I decided to write personally online. It helped me share my stories not only verbally in person (or RL) but also in the digital world. I actually net a lot of amazing people because of that site.

What took me off the site was the extremists who didn’t realize that just because everyone here agrees with you doesn’t mean they will put up with that offline. It puzzled me how the views were so skewed and everyone who disagreed was thrown into a category even when their views were clear off the rails.

The final nail in the coffin is when I overreacted to someone in RL over something they couldn’t understand. I left about 3 years ago and we fast forward to today and it’s better than ever. Other social networks adapted the mentality because of the voices of a vocal minority and the problems I ran away from in one site spread to everywhere else.

The best thing about Tumblr is that you can filter things and your dashboard will be fine. Mind you you can do this almost everywhere else but it feels off since most other places are a bit personal and would rub people the wrong way.

I dislike how much of a time sink that site is but last night after scrolling endlessly for 30 minutes… I don’t think I’ve been that happy on the internet in a while.

There’s nothing wrong with turning back and checking up on something every once in a while somethings and people change so we shouldn’t be scared to investigate every once in a while.

The third week

It’s my third week in a management postion at my work place. After 2 and half years of learning and pushing a way of work I’ve been promoted. I was supposed to be trained for 3 weeks but I only got trained for 2 and in that 2 a lot of issues occures so I was drawn away from learning. 

I’m still positive about the whole thing. The work is supposed to be stressful but from the feel of the people I’m in charge of all I really need to do is make sure I take care of them and deal with the issues that have been around for years.

As a team member I was very vocal about operations and timing on fixing things. I was at a satalite location smaller area same issues. So it was some what easier to fix. But overall it’s most of the management delaying or forgetting to bring up the issue. Which made employees frustrated like myself. In the short time I’ve been here I continually grasped at the chance to improve and learn as much a possible and that’s how I landed this postion with pretty much no seniority. 

I’m hoping the pressure doesn’t get to my head but I’m ready to help steer the company in the right direction for the employees and the customers. 

The third week

It’s my third week in a management postion at my work place. After 2 and half years of learning and pushing a way of work I’ve been promoted. I was supposed to be trained for 3 weeks but I only got trained for 2 and in that 2 a lot of issues occures so I was drawn away from learning. 

I’m still positive about the whole thing. The work is supposed to be stressful but from the feel of the people I’m in charge of all I really need to do is make sure I take care of them and deal with the issues that have been around for years.

As a team member I was very vocal about operations and timing on fixing things. I was at a satalite location smaller area same issues. So it was some what easier to fix. But overall it’s most of the management delaying or forgetting to bring up the issue. Which made employees frustrated like myself. In the short time I’ve been here I continually grasped at the chance to improve and learn as much a possible and that’s how I landed this postion with pretty much no seniority. 

I’m hoping the pressure doesn’t get to my head but I’m ready to help steer the company in the right direction for the employees and the customers. 

Calming people down

Yesterday I called my mom to see if I can grab something from her place because I was tired if buying new stuff for my new place I’ve saved enough for the expense but being ****$ short will always feel weird. At the end of the call my mom was cussing me about things I had no idea about and she was still kind of bitter that my relationship with my dad was improving again despite all the hardships everyone endured because of both if their decisions in the past.

Despite all the yelling I still went to go visit her. My mom loves chicken nuggets. I think most ladies do. Even in this world where most things are revealed as fake food or whatever the case chicken nuggets is one of those “I don’t care it’s delicious” foods.  I just went thwre dropped the nuggets and went off.

But before I could leave she asked what I needed and insisted I took it. The moral to the story is that despite anger, sadness, frustration or any extreme reaction to an emotion there’s always something that brings someone down to earth again. Those chicken nuggets were crispy. 

Office life to manual labour

9 months ago I got a temp position for IC and it was prey much a dream. I was starting to develop carpal from moving boxes and I felt I was getting dumber each day since I want learning anything then it all changed.

The best thing about was for the most part I did my thing and didn’t have to deal with anyone. If there was an issue I dealt with it then I went on to do my work. I avoided work drama because I wasn’t constantly around the general populace and if I wanted to be a part of it I could always just pop in.

Within the first couple of weeks I saved the company over 30k which is nothing in their eyes but I’m still pretty proud about it. I caught a lot of mistakes and helped implement measures to prevent mistakes that kept occurring and I was physically and mentally exhausted everyday.

It was supposed to be 6 months but it got extended to 9 months because management loved how I did the work and I did way more than I had to just because I had the energy.

Now I’m back and it’s pretty tough. Same thing day in and out. With IC something always randomly came up which would either be my fault from trying to fix something else or everyone else’s fault or a crazy error from before I started. 

Since I moved recently I have to keep this job but I’m keeping my options open if I could get something more comfy that uses my brain. But it’s going to take a lot of energy and focus to deal with everything. 

School

Where I live there’s a college strike right now. Thousands of students are pretty much in hold when it comes to getting their education. My biggest question is why the students aren’t doing anything. It took 4 weeks before we heard any news of students trying to do anything about it. I graduated a year ago so I was lucky to miss out on this but I k ow if this happened during my final semester and I was paying for this I would be protesting the faculty protesting.

Realistically a ton of the things now in college are a joke. So to be paying for education that’s subpar and not even getting that Becuase the faculty thinks they should get paid more sounds like nonsense in my eyes. Obviously there’s more to the story but if the students aren’t getting an education that leads them to a better future and they’re being thrown into debt what is the point of even going to school? 

Time to move

I ran finally made the decision to move out. The planets and the sun aligned and I have an almost perfect arrangement for it to be successful. I signed the papers last weekend and I’m excited. There’s been drama everywhere (work and home) so to cut one of them is going to make life more easier.

Plus it was a goal of mine to be out of the house by 2* years old and it’s happening. I’m not really worried about anything. My mother has been a lot nicer and is finally working with me but it’s like the saying goes too little too late.

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone and I don’t plan on coming back any time soon. Some people at my work place have said I’ve seemed high at work recently. High as in a mood that would indicate I was on drugs but it’s just the happiness of freedom and less stress. 

I’ve been mainly making my own food, doing my online groceries and other things for years now so I’m not going to suffer in any of those aspects. I get me training meals on the side but that’s unnecessary and I can just cook more. 

The only thing I’m gonna miss is taking super long showers or a long bath. My roommates for the most part aren’t crazy social but I know them. I know I’ll have my own privacy I know it’ll be quiet in the house most of the time  I know no one will be barging in my room and lying about taking my stuff. 

I just know for the most part I’ll be happier. Not that I won’t miss my family but I definitely won’t miss my invasion of privacy. If loneliness settles in somehow I can always jump into a relationship without my family intruding or sabatoging it like in the past.

2 more weeks 😀

Surprises

My cousin is planning on visiting soon,  I haven’t seen her 3 years. So much has changed but at the same time it hasn’t. I don’t live with the neatest people so I’m gonna have to start cleaning up and making a fuss for it to stay clean in time.

Surprise visits can be a drag because knowing in advance helps prepare you to deal with a guest. You might have to modify your schedule or even cancel some things so you can accommodate your guest.

What’s I’m trying to say is as an older person surprise visits suck ass. If it’s not a weekend visit you might have to take time off work or leave things open to deal with your guest. Luckily it’s just one person.

I have a couple of vacation days left but I don’t want to use them but I might have to 

The weirdest thing about the season changing is never bait how hot or cold it gets but at least for me it’s the sun coming up later. The best thing about the morning is seeing that bright ball of death warm up the planet. Every part of me squirm to avoid it but eventually I’m up and at it again.

When I wake up and the sun isn’t up I feel as if somethings wrong. I feel like there’s nothing waiting for me. It’s a long endless night and I happened to wake up in the middle of it.

Everything about the warmer weather brings me joy. I need a girl who likes the cold and the darkness. I don’t mind the dark but the morning should be bright and annoying not dark and gloomy.

Farewell Summer 2017. 

Goodnight don’t let the bedbugs bite.

A week ago I noticed I was plagued this creature that I thought was a myth; a platoon of  bedbugs. After I saw the bites went to the doctor and found out it was an allergic reaction of some sort I stated digging. Some people get allergic reactions to bedbugs and luckily I was one of them. After 3 days of poor sleep I spent the next few days clearing everything out. The first three days(that I got bit) I found a total of 5 bugs.

I started flipping things over and slowly throwing things out. The spray I bought didn’t work well and it was seemingly only in my room so I started sectioning off part of my room. After flipping my bed 3 time since found about 5 luckily they weren’t fully grown. The worst part about it is I know those were the ones that bit me recently just by how much bigger they were.

I was lucky that these things were greedy. I found many tiny ones in my old school notes and some documents so I had to throw that away. All my binders, spare paper, old books were all infested. A few bigger ones and really tiny yellow ones. Fast forward to today half my room is empty and 80% of the stuff in there is sealed.

I wouldn’t wish my worst enemies this is experience.